Obama's lifetime ban

Dear Obama,

Guess what, you're not welcome in Oklahoma. No, seriously, don't ever think of visiting. I'm pretty sure voting to change the state motto to, "Obama invented death" is right around the corner. There's no righting the ship 'round here. I'm not sure what you did to the people in Oklahoma but I haven't seen scorn for one person like this since the days of, well, Bill Clinton. Seriously, all people had to do to win office in this great state was mention that they wanted to fight you. Like, physically fight you...along with everything you stand for. Congrats on that, it's quite the accomplishment. You should take pride in being able to make 99.9% of a state's population hate you.

I guess you'll just have to go through life never having the chance to see a Thunder game, live, or experiencing the magic that is Coney I-Lander. Hey, it's your fault. If you'd just tried less to help the middle and lower class, you might've been a big hit around here. But no, you had to be a big shot and wreck the White House. Didn't you learn anything from George W.? He laid out a blueprint on how to run this country into the ground and you simply ignore it? Talk about a bad choice. Look, I don't know if the lifetime ban will hold up forever. Maybe, just maybe, if you give your next State of the Union address wearin' an OU hat, while squeezing off rounds of a shotgun, and occasionally yelling "THESE COLORS DON'T RUN", you could get the ban reduced a bit. It might also help if you scrap your normal entrance music, in favor of "Real American" by Rick Derringer. I know it's risky, and a bit unorthodox, but it could go a long way in connecting with the voters. Of course you'll have to get Hulk Hogan's approval, but hey, it's worth a look. I'm not sayin' it will work, but you've gotta start somewhere.

Now that I really think about it, there's no hope. Ah, the irony.