Dear Obama,
Guess what, you're not welcome in Oklahoma. No, seriously, don't ever think of visiting. I'm pretty sure voting to change the state motto to, "Obama invented death" is right around the corner. There's no righting the ship 'round here. I'm not sure what you did to the people in Oklahoma but I haven't seen scorn for one person like this since the days of, well, Bill Clinton. Seriously, all people had to do to win office in this great state was mention that they wanted to fight you. Like, physically fight you...along with everything you stand for. Congrats on that, it's quite the accomplishment. You should take pride in being able to make 99.9% of a state's population hate you.
I guess you'll just have to go through life never having the chance to see a Thunder game, live, or experiencing the magic that is Coney I-Lander. Hey, it's your fault. If you'd just tried less to help the middle and lower class, you might've been a big hit around here. But no, you had to be a big shot and wreck the White House. Didn't you learn anything from George W.? He laid out a blueprint on how to run this country into the ground and you simply ignore it? Talk about a bad choice. Look, I don't know if the lifetime ban will hold up forever. Maybe, just maybe, if you give your next State of the Union address wearin' an OU hat, while squeezing off rounds of a shotgun, and occasionally yelling "THESE COLORS DON'T RUN", you could get the ban reduced a bit. It might also help if you scrap your normal entrance music, in favor of "Real American" by Rick Derringer. I know it's risky, and a bit unorthodox, but it could go a long way in connecting with the voters. Of course you'll have to get Hulk Hogan's approval, but hey, it's worth a look. I'm not sayin' it will work, but you've gotta start somewhere.
Now that I really think about it, there's no hope. Ah, the irony.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
Get Your DeLorean, Cubs Fans
In 1981, the sweetest, most glorious sports car, ever, was introduced to America. It was going to change the landscape of motor transportation forever. With stainless steel panels, gull-wing doors, and a fiber glass underbody, it was suppose to be superior to every car before it.
Of course that car, that model of excellence was the DeLorean. It didn't exactly live up to expectations. Nope, it actually never made it atop the throne of cars. Sure we all wanted one because McFly busted through time, punched out Biff, and altered his family's existence from being a group of unmanageable dorks into a solid family unit of successful professionals. But that was as far as the DeLorean made "it". An investment gone terribly wrong.
Flash forward to 2010. I give you the Chicago Cubs. Just like the famously failed DeLorean, the Cubs have managed to make $140+ million disappear into the abyss of completely wasted money. A team that's supposedly built to win has become nothing more than a team looking to survive the first 2 months of the season.
How could this have happened? Surely there's a reasonable explanation as to why a team, who's payroll is in the top 3 in all of Major League Baseball, is destined to be one of the biggest flops this sports year. Let's see, could it be team chemistry? Can't blame it on Milton Bradley because he's gone, and the team seems like it's void of any Michael Barret-Zambrano situations. What about hitting? Well, several Cubbies are hitting well over .300, all be it not while runners are on base, but there's still hope that changes. Even Soriano's hitting, so we can't blame it on him, much to the dismay of Fonzie haters. Then there's the D Lee/Rami situation; you'd have to combine their averages in order to get it around .300 and that's obviously a problem. Maybe we should put the blame solely on the shoulders of those two. I mean, they are the veterans of the club. They're the leaders of the team and the RBI guys, so let's just blame them and move on. Naw, there's more to it than that.
I'm starting to think Sweet Lou is the problem. That's fair, right? He is the manager of the club. He's the one that's championed with getting the overpriced talent to produce. It's his job to get these guys to compete, isn't it? And he's not getting it done. "We've just gotta hit" isn't an acceptable sound byte after a loss, anymore, and that's the pre-programmed response we've too often heard from him this year. His ability, or lack there of, to push the right buttons in order to run a winning team out on the field daily has to come into question, at some point. And it needs to happen sooner than later or this team might quit by July. It's not like we're talking about the Pittsburgh Pirates--who swept the Cubbies right out of town, recently--no, we're talking about a team that's stocked with talent. Enough to win and certainly enough to be at least a .500 team, at this point. Yet we as fans are asked to sit back and wait. As if we haven't waited throughout the entirety of our lives for the Cubs to make an appearance in the World Series. Sometimes it takes a change and I'm not talking about sending Fontenot away via a trade or upgrading the bat boy. It starts with Lou. Regardless of his track record in the as a manager, he has to produce and at a high level and he's been unable to. It's not like he's acquired tenure or anything. Cut him loose, bring in some new blood, or at the very least give him a stern talking to.
Maybe the Cubs will rebound this year. Maybe Lou will right the ship. Maybe, just maybe, the Cubs will remember what it's like to win consistently and surprise us all. Or, and this is highly likely, they'll continue down the path of complete failure and end up like the DeLorean....New Coke....The XFL. A once grand idea, with so much promise, that refused to succeed. I can only hope, for the sake of all Cubs fans, that's not the case.
I guess if Back To The Future part II was right, we'll get the chance to see the Cubs win a World Series in 2015?
Of course that car, that model of excellence was the DeLorean. It didn't exactly live up to expectations. Nope, it actually never made it atop the throne of cars. Sure we all wanted one because McFly busted through time, punched out Biff, and altered his family's existence from being a group of unmanageable dorks into a solid family unit of successful professionals. But that was as far as the DeLorean made "it". An investment gone terribly wrong.
Flash forward to 2010. I give you the Chicago Cubs. Just like the famously failed DeLorean, the Cubs have managed to make $140+ million disappear into the abyss of completely wasted money. A team that's supposedly built to win has become nothing more than a team looking to survive the first 2 months of the season.
How could this have happened? Surely there's a reasonable explanation as to why a team, who's payroll is in the top 3 in all of Major League Baseball, is destined to be one of the biggest flops this sports year. Let's see, could it be team chemistry? Can't blame it on Milton Bradley because he's gone, and the team seems like it's void of any Michael Barret-Zambrano situations. What about hitting? Well, several Cubbies are hitting well over .300, all be it not while runners are on base, but there's still hope that changes. Even Soriano's hitting, so we can't blame it on him, much to the dismay of Fonzie haters. Then there's the D Lee/Rami situation; you'd have to combine their averages in order to get it around .300 and that's obviously a problem. Maybe we should put the blame solely on the shoulders of those two. I mean, they are the veterans of the club. They're the leaders of the team and the RBI guys, so let's just blame them and move on. Naw, there's more to it than that.
I'm starting to think Sweet Lou is the problem. That's fair, right? He is the manager of the club. He's the one that's championed with getting the overpriced talent to produce. It's his job to get these guys to compete, isn't it? And he's not getting it done. "We've just gotta hit" isn't an acceptable sound byte after a loss, anymore, and that's the pre-programmed response we've too often heard from him this year. His ability, or lack there of, to push the right buttons in order to run a winning team out on the field daily has to come into question, at some point. And it needs to happen sooner than later or this team might quit by July. It's not like we're talking about the Pittsburgh Pirates--who swept the Cubbies right out of town, recently--no, we're talking about a team that's stocked with talent. Enough to win and certainly enough to be at least a .500 team, at this point. Yet we as fans are asked to sit back and wait. As if we haven't waited throughout the entirety of our lives for the Cubs to make an appearance in the World Series. Sometimes it takes a change and I'm not talking about sending Fontenot away via a trade or upgrading the bat boy. It starts with Lou. Regardless of his track record in the as a manager, he has to produce and at a high level and he's been unable to. It's not like he's acquired tenure or anything. Cut him loose, bring in some new blood, or at the very least give him a stern talking to.
Maybe the Cubs will rebound this year. Maybe Lou will right the ship. Maybe, just maybe, the Cubs will remember what it's like to win consistently and surprise us all. Or, and this is highly likely, they'll continue down the path of complete failure and end up like the DeLorean....New Coke....The XFL. A once grand idea, with so much promise, that refused to succeed. I can only hope, for the sake of all Cubs fans, that's not the case.
I guess if Back To The Future part II was right, we'll get the chance to see the Cubs win a World Series in 2015?
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Happy Mothers Day
This year my mom is celebrating her 30th Mother's Day, and she's not even 50 years old. Every once in a while, when I get to thinking about it, it hits me just how young my mom was when she gave birth to me. Before the age of 21 she had already committed to putting me and my needs before hers, and that's pretty amazing. I couldn't have imagined being responsible for a child at the age of 20. I was so consumed with myself that I rarely thought about anything other than what I wanted, what I thought I needed. She did, however, and here I am, at 30, more thankful than ever that I have a mother like her.
Everyone say's their mom's the best mom in the world, and I'm no different. My mom has given me everything and never has she asked for anything in return. A mother in the truest sense of the word. She's always around when I need her; the one person I've been able to lean on when my life didn't make sense at all. She's one of the great ones.
Mother's have an almost super hero mental strength to them, don't they? There's no other way to explain it. Even when I've been completely crushed by events in life that shouldn't have happened, she's able to exude strength. I've seen it first hand many times in my short life, but while dealing with the deaths of my Great Grandmother and my cousin (two of my favorite people on earth) is when she proved just how much stronger she is then me. While I have no doubt that she was an emotional wreck on the inside, she was nothing if not the stabilizing force for me on the outside. It's times like the aforementioned when you really appreciate how much a mother can endure and still be standing strong. For better or worse, she's always the one that has to be the face of strength during times of crises. I can only imagine how exhausting it has to be, and yet, she does it with as much of smile as one could muster during family tragedies.
Mother's have an endless amount of time to give. Whether it was waking up at 5am to make sure I made it to a wrestling tournament in Kansas 5 hours away, or spending every other night at my baseball games even if she was sick. She always put me first. Why, I have no idea. It's not like I was the most respectful kid, and I surely didn't show any appreciation for anything she did for me, when I was young. But that didn't matter to her, she just kept on being my biggest fan, camcorder in hand, celebrating every win and taking losses as hard, if not harder, than I did. She was unequivocally dedicated to making sure my childhood was the best, most eventful that it could be.
It's no secret that I think the world of my mother. Of course, I have regrets that I didn't tell her that when I was younger. For whatever reason, when I was young, I took my mother for granted. Luckily, the older I've gotten the more I've come to appreciate her and all she's done for me, my sister, my dad, and the rest of my family. She's always given me hope, and deserves so much more than I'll ever be able to give her back. I can only hope that she knows, now, just what she means to me and our family. She's been a mother for 30 plus years, now, and has unconditionally given everything she has in her heart to making my life great.
So Happy Mothers Day to my mom; a beautiful, kind, loving mother who deserves all the best things in life.
Everyone say's their mom's the best mom in the world, and I'm no different. My mom has given me everything and never has she asked for anything in return. A mother in the truest sense of the word. She's always around when I need her; the one person I've been able to lean on when my life didn't make sense at all. She's one of the great ones.
Mother's have an almost super hero mental strength to them, don't they? There's no other way to explain it. Even when I've been completely crushed by events in life that shouldn't have happened, she's able to exude strength. I've seen it first hand many times in my short life, but while dealing with the deaths of my Great Grandmother and my cousin (two of my favorite people on earth) is when she proved just how much stronger she is then me. While I have no doubt that she was an emotional wreck on the inside, she was nothing if not the stabilizing force for me on the outside. It's times like the aforementioned when you really appreciate how much a mother can endure and still be standing strong. For better or worse, she's always the one that has to be the face of strength during times of crises. I can only imagine how exhausting it has to be, and yet, she does it with as much of smile as one could muster during family tragedies.
Mother's have an endless amount of time to give. Whether it was waking up at 5am to make sure I made it to a wrestling tournament in Kansas 5 hours away, or spending every other night at my baseball games even if she was sick. She always put me first. Why, I have no idea. It's not like I was the most respectful kid, and I surely didn't show any appreciation for anything she did for me, when I was young. But that didn't matter to her, she just kept on being my biggest fan, camcorder in hand, celebrating every win and taking losses as hard, if not harder, than I did. She was unequivocally dedicated to making sure my childhood was the best, most eventful that it could be.
It's no secret that I think the world of my mother. Of course, I have regrets that I didn't tell her that when I was younger. For whatever reason, when I was young, I took my mother for granted. Luckily, the older I've gotten the more I've come to appreciate her and all she's done for me, my sister, my dad, and the rest of my family. She's always given me hope, and deserves so much more than I'll ever be able to give her back. I can only hope that she knows, now, just what she means to me and our family. She's been a mother for 30 plus years, now, and has unconditionally given everything she has in her heart to making my life great.
So Happy Mothers Day to my mom; a beautiful, kind, loving mother who deserves all the best things in life.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Radio's Sleeper Hold On Good Music
It's been a little over 30 years since The Buggles let us all know that "video killed the radio star". While that might not have been completely true, there are several people putting forth a strong effort to kill radio all together. The Justin Bieber's of the world are making it unbearable to listen to anything other than my ipod. In a day and age when the digital world is making it easier for anyone to release music, you have to really search through the bad to get to the good. It's not impossible, but don't think for a second that the radio is an outlet to use in your attempt to hear anything of substance. Advertising and big biz have flooded the airwaves with the terribleness on FM stations nationwide and it's becoming laughable. Laughable because some listeners are actually buying into this "music". Laughable because several great musicians and bands go unnoticed due to lack of appreciation by the same radio stations cramming Nickleback down the listeners throats 3 times an hour.
Granted some people might like Nickleback, and that's unfortunate. Their ears have been sentenced to life without parole, and they'll continue to support the murderess noise that NB produces, regardless of any type of intervention. Poor souls. There's nothing you can do to help these people, so it's best to leave them alone. And steer clear of riding with them on long road trips; chances are, you'll end up with one less friend at the conclusion if you choose otherwise.
Why has radio become the anti-good-music establishment? It wasn't always like this. There was a time when one could flip to a station and here the likes of Sinatra, or Otis Redding, or Janis Joplin, or Bowie blaring over the speakers. Now great music has given way to Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus, The Black Eyed Peas, Lady Ga Ga, Adam Lambert, and Ke$sha. All talented in their own way, but I'd rather go all Beethoven and cut off my own ear than listen to any of the aforementioned singers or groups. They're just not good.
This radio problem isn't relegated to cars, either. It can have a drastic effect on cook outs, too. There's nothing worse than cracking a fresh beer to the sound of Justin Bieber's "Baby". Talk about fun levels plummeting. Can I really listen to this kid sing about love and romance one more time? Can I please? I get that little girls swoon over this lil dude, but somebody take the mic away, now. A marketing scheme gone wrong. Label fat cats making millions on this kid at the expense of so many peoples ears, namely mine.
Of course there's a small exception to the rule. That exception is Miley Cyrus' "Party in the USA". No matter what I say about that song, after a few too many drinks, it never fails, everyone seems to like it. I don't know why, and I'm not gonna fight it. It just wins. Congrats Miley, you remade "Tubthumbing".
I guess I'm a bit of a music snob, I'm okay with that. And I'm sure there are thousands of people that would castrate me for saying that Lady Ga Ga is absolutely terrible. I'm okay with that, too. Radio is what it is, and it isn't going to change as long as people continue to ask for "Here Without You" by 3 Doors Down. It's a shame, really. There's a lot of great music out there, but some people let the radio stations dictate what they listen to and ultimately what they end up supporting. I doubt that's what radio was intended for when it was created.
I gave up on radio years ago. You should too.
Granted some people might like Nickleback, and that's unfortunate. Their ears have been sentenced to life without parole, and they'll continue to support the murderess noise that NB produces, regardless of any type of intervention. Poor souls. There's nothing you can do to help these people, so it's best to leave them alone. And steer clear of riding with them on long road trips; chances are, you'll end up with one less friend at the conclusion if you choose otherwise.
Why has radio become the anti-good-music establishment? It wasn't always like this. There was a time when one could flip to a station and here the likes of Sinatra, or Otis Redding, or Janis Joplin, or Bowie blaring over the speakers. Now great music has given way to Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus, The Black Eyed Peas, Lady Ga Ga, Adam Lambert, and Ke$sha. All talented in their own way, but I'd rather go all Beethoven and cut off my own ear than listen to any of the aforementioned singers or groups. They're just not good.
This radio problem isn't relegated to cars, either. It can have a drastic effect on cook outs, too. There's nothing worse than cracking a fresh beer to the sound of Justin Bieber's "Baby". Talk about fun levels plummeting. Can I really listen to this kid sing about love and romance one more time? Can I please? I get that little girls swoon over this lil dude, but somebody take the mic away, now. A marketing scheme gone wrong. Label fat cats making millions on this kid at the expense of so many peoples ears, namely mine.
Of course there's a small exception to the rule. That exception is Miley Cyrus' "Party in the USA". No matter what I say about that song, after a few too many drinks, it never fails, everyone seems to like it. I don't know why, and I'm not gonna fight it. It just wins. Congrats Miley, you remade "Tubthumbing".
I guess I'm a bit of a music snob, I'm okay with that. And I'm sure there are thousands of people that would castrate me for saying that Lady Ga Ga is absolutely terrible. I'm okay with that, too. Radio is what it is, and it isn't going to change as long as people continue to ask for "Here Without You" by 3 Doors Down. It's a shame, really. There's a lot of great music out there, but some people let the radio stations dictate what they listen to and ultimately what they end up supporting. I doubt that's what radio was intended for when it was created.
I gave up on radio years ago. You should too.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Gangs of Chicago beware. The military's coming with grenades.
116 days into the new year and Chicago has been the grounds for 113 killings. Though this stat might be alarming to some, the fact is that even if this rate stayed on course throughout the entirety of this year, there would probably be less murders than in 2009. Not that I want to start this Monday out on a down note, but it struck a cord in me given the fact that some state representatives have stepped up and asked the Governor and Mayor Daley to allow the National Guard to patrol the streets of Chicago, in an attempt to quell the violence.
Now, maybe it's just me but this seems like a supremely bad idea. I know they're not talking about rolling tanks and heavy artillery down the streets in Garfield Park, but the thought of Military personnel with automatic weapons strategically taking out gang members is a bit much for me. I'm just not of the opinion that the military is the answer in this matter. In fact, I believe that it will only agitate a problem that's persisted long before I was around, and that will continue to be a problem when I'm gone. Seriously, isn't this the type of idea that starts a real inner city war?
Instead of reading the headline, "1 dead, 2 wounded after gang violence erupts in Chicago west side neighborhood", We'll be inundated with front page headlines that read, "Battle of Englewood, Day 3: Military takes out known drug dealer and 35 others with rocket propelled grenade". Of course that's a bit sensationalized, but it's not completely out of the realm of possibility that provoking the military could have similar repercussions.
What happens when those that are targeted by the city decide to target the National Guard? You can't say it wouldn't happen, and when it did, it could spark another kind of war that Chicago doesn't need to be fighting. I mean, it's not like the National Guard is going to take kindly to being shot at. I can only imagine that their training would kick in and all hell would break lose (which would be warranted in my opinion). We're talking about trained professional military men and women. No nonsense training. You shoot at me, you die. That's the reality. How about when they roll a grenade in a crack house before lighting it up from the outside with automatic machine gun rounds? That's some John Rambo-type stuff right there.
The last thing Chicago needs is for gangs to have a cause. No longer will it be about 'slingin' rocks and gettin' rich'. Rather the end goal will be for them to rid 'their' streets of National Guardsmen. I suspect that the number of killings would jump dramatically. And it won't just be gang members. The term collateral damage keeps ringing in my head.
The reality of the situation is that the number of murders have decreased dramatically since the early 90's. Back then, a person could lobby for some sort of military action and people would've listened. Today, I don't see Daley or Quinn allowing the National Guard in to the city. I can understand that people want something done about the violence in the city and maybe this was a good way to bring some heavy attention to the problem, but starting an urban war isn't the best route to take.
Now, maybe it's just me but this seems like a supremely bad idea. I know they're not talking about rolling tanks and heavy artillery down the streets in Garfield Park, but the thought of Military personnel with automatic weapons strategically taking out gang members is a bit much for me. I'm just not of the opinion that the military is the answer in this matter. In fact, I believe that it will only agitate a problem that's persisted long before I was around, and that will continue to be a problem when I'm gone. Seriously, isn't this the type of idea that starts a real inner city war?
Instead of reading the headline, "1 dead, 2 wounded after gang violence erupts in Chicago west side neighborhood", We'll be inundated with front page headlines that read, "Battle of Englewood, Day 3: Military takes out known drug dealer and 35 others with rocket propelled grenade". Of course that's a bit sensationalized, but it's not completely out of the realm of possibility that provoking the military could have similar repercussions.
What happens when those that are targeted by the city decide to target the National Guard? You can't say it wouldn't happen, and when it did, it could spark another kind of war that Chicago doesn't need to be fighting. I mean, it's not like the National Guard is going to take kindly to being shot at. I can only imagine that their training would kick in and all hell would break lose (which would be warranted in my opinion). We're talking about trained professional military men and women. No nonsense training. You shoot at me, you die. That's the reality. How about when they roll a grenade in a crack house before lighting it up from the outside with automatic machine gun rounds? That's some John Rambo-type stuff right there.
The last thing Chicago needs is for gangs to have a cause. No longer will it be about 'slingin' rocks and gettin' rich'. Rather the end goal will be for them to rid 'their' streets of National Guardsmen. I suspect that the number of killings would jump dramatically. And it won't just be gang members. The term collateral damage keeps ringing in my head.
The reality of the situation is that the number of murders have decreased dramatically since the early 90's. Back then, a person could lobby for some sort of military action and people would've listened. Today, I don't see Daley or Quinn allowing the National Guard in to the city. I can understand that people want something done about the violence in the city and maybe this was a good way to bring some heavy attention to the problem, but starting an urban war isn't the best route to take.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
The Cubbies need Lou Brown, Jobu, and Charlie Sheen
I remember back in the day when Lou Brown, once a manager for the Toledo Mud Hens, took over the Cleveland Indians, a rag tag team of talent and pushed to win the American league pennant. Of course that was in a movie, but Lou Pinnella should take some notes from the 80's gem. Why? Because his team is shitting the bed just 13 games into the season and the similarities between his team and the '89 Indians led by Lou Brown are obvious. I know it's too early to panic but the bullpen's a train wreck, our lead off man can't hit or get on base, our clean up hitter rarely touches the ball, and our ace can't get anyone out. Not to mention that Sweet Lou looks like he's simply mailing it in for the last year of his contract and already thinking about Florida and endless days of playing golf.
Zambrano came into this season a "changed" man. He dropped some weight, switched up his diet, and altered his temperament on the mound. Great, it still doesn't change the fact that his throws just as many strikes as Rick Vaughn prior to figuring out he needed glasses. How many years is he going to do this? He's supposed to be the ace. He's certainly paid like one, yet he continues to underachieve. At least Rick figured it out after a brief stint in the California Penal League. Hell, the guy went from setting a Major League record for walks in a game to being a Cy-Young contender, and he was a rookie.
Then there's Ryan Theriot. He takes over the lead off duties and all of a sudden he can't get on base. He use to slap the ball around the field, now he acts like he wants to drive the ball in the air. He's like Willie Mays Hayes minus the ability to steal a bag. I can't help but think that Lou Brown would have him bustin' out 50 push ups at a time for every ball hit in the air. It worked for Willie, so who am I to second guess. The Cubs haven't had a solid lead off man since the short time we were blessed with Kenny Lofton. What happened while he was here? Think about it. Hendry's failure to snag an established lead off hitter is going to chase him forever.
Now it's hard for me to bag on Aramis Ramirez. The dude's eventually gonna hit, but can someone sacrifice a live chicken already, or get him a Jobu doll to stick in his locker. He's barely touching the ball in the early going and his run producing is a must if the Cubs are gonna contend. Pedro Cerrano always said that bats are afraid of curve balls, but in the case of Rami this season, his bat's afraid of fastballs, too.
The bullpen. Holy baby Jesus, the bullpen is atrocious. I knew it was gonna be a problem this year but you've got to be kidding me. 2 rookies? Seriously, with the payroll the Cubs fork out, you're gonna throw two rookies in the pen? And then there's Jeff Samardjiza. Honestly, this guy doesn't need to be in the majors. His curve ball doesn't curve. His change up is something out of little league. His fastball, though fast, is constantly over the plate and big league hitters tee off this tool. I can only wish that the crafty vetter Eddie Harris was around to teach Jeff wear put the Crisco, Bardol or Vagisil. God, could another guy use an extra 2-3 inch drop on his curve ball? Let's put it this way, when he's announced as the next pitcher out of the pen, I feel like committing a crime against an old person. He's terrible. The only bright spot in the pen is Sean Marshall and Marmol. Both have been pretty good, but they can't pitch everyday. Fact is, the Cubs can't compete with the bullpen they have in place. I blame Hendry, but what could I expect from a guy that sunk the Cubs in payroll for the next 8 years.
There are no excuses for the Cubs. Sweet Lou has to win with this club. Lou Brown once told his team that he wasn't much for giving inspirational addresses, but then pointed out that every newspaper in the country had picked them to finish last. That the local press thought it'd be a good idea if they saved everyone the time and trouble and went out and shot themselves. But rather than folding up shop the team decided to hang around for a while and see if they could give 'em all a nice big shitburger to eat! And they did.
I wonder what Sweet Lou's said to his squad after 13 less than stellar games?
Zambrano came into this season a "changed" man. He dropped some weight, switched up his diet, and altered his temperament on the mound. Great, it still doesn't change the fact that his throws just as many strikes as Rick Vaughn prior to figuring out he needed glasses. How many years is he going to do this? He's supposed to be the ace. He's certainly paid like one, yet he continues to underachieve. At least Rick figured it out after a brief stint in the California Penal League. Hell, the guy went from setting a Major League record for walks in a game to being a Cy-Young contender, and he was a rookie.
Then there's Ryan Theriot. He takes over the lead off duties and all of a sudden he can't get on base. He use to slap the ball around the field, now he acts like he wants to drive the ball in the air. He's like Willie Mays Hayes minus the ability to steal a bag. I can't help but think that Lou Brown would have him bustin' out 50 push ups at a time for every ball hit in the air. It worked for Willie, so who am I to second guess. The Cubs haven't had a solid lead off man since the short time we were blessed with Kenny Lofton. What happened while he was here? Think about it. Hendry's failure to snag an established lead off hitter is going to chase him forever.
Now it's hard for me to bag on Aramis Ramirez. The dude's eventually gonna hit, but can someone sacrifice a live chicken already, or get him a Jobu doll to stick in his locker. He's barely touching the ball in the early going and his run producing is a must if the Cubs are gonna contend. Pedro Cerrano always said that bats are afraid of curve balls, but in the case of Rami this season, his bat's afraid of fastballs, too.
The bullpen. Holy baby Jesus, the bullpen is atrocious. I knew it was gonna be a problem this year but you've got to be kidding me. 2 rookies? Seriously, with the payroll the Cubs fork out, you're gonna throw two rookies in the pen? And then there's Jeff Samardjiza. Honestly, this guy doesn't need to be in the majors. His curve ball doesn't curve. His change up is something out of little league. His fastball, though fast, is constantly over the plate and big league hitters tee off this tool. I can only wish that the crafty vetter Eddie Harris was around to teach Jeff wear put the Crisco, Bardol or Vagisil. God, could another guy use an extra 2-3 inch drop on his curve ball? Let's put it this way, when he's announced as the next pitcher out of the pen, I feel like committing a crime against an old person. He's terrible. The only bright spot in the pen is Sean Marshall and Marmol. Both have been pretty good, but they can't pitch everyday. Fact is, the Cubs can't compete with the bullpen they have in place. I blame Hendry, but what could I expect from a guy that sunk the Cubs in payroll for the next 8 years.
There are no excuses for the Cubs. Sweet Lou has to win with this club. Lou Brown once told his team that he wasn't much for giving inspirational addresses, but then pointed out that every newspaper in the country had picked them to finish last. That the local press thought it'd be a good idea if they saved everyone the time and trouble and went out and shot themselves. But rather than folding up shop the team decided to hang around for a while and see if they could give 'em all a nice big shitburger to eat! And they did.
I wonder what Sweet Lou's said to his squad after 13 less than stellar games?
Friday, April 16, 2010
How to catch a predator: Catholic Priest edition
So Pope Benedict XVI finally said something about the latest clerical abuse scandal saying the he thinks the "church" is under attack. Yep, the church is under attack, got it. Not the little kids that keep getting molested by Catholic priests. Nope, it's the "church" that's being wrongly attacked. Is this guy serious? It's really getting old listening to everyone defend these guys. I could care less that the Catholic church is catching a bad rap for all the child fondling priests. To me it's the churches fault it's gone on this long and its got what's coming its way. They continue to turn a blind eye to a problem that could be solved by a simple bullet to the head to most of these guys. I have no sympathy for pedophiles, nor do I think they deserve a second chance. That's just me. Now the Pope says, "we Christians" should repent for sins and recognize mistakes. That's all good but I've got a different outlook on what you do with pedophiles. I say, cut off their balls; wearing the cloak and hiding behind the doors of the Catholic institution shouldn't be tolerated any longer. Am I being harsh, Catholics might say so, but they've been ducking this problem for far too many years. Does the Pope actually believe these destroyers of child purity deserve anything other than to burn in hell? Is it a fixable problem, sure, but it takes a little more effort than what the Vatican is willing to provide. It's for that reason that the Catholic church and its followers will continue to face ridicule.
A few laws I think that we could put in place to curb the Catholic Priests appetite for children:
1. Priests aren't allowed to watch the Disney Channel.
2. Priests aren't allowed to hold Harry Potter costume parties for any reason.
3. Priests aren't allowed within 500 feet of Chuck 'E Cheeses.
4. Priests aren't allowed to have juice boxes in their personal fridges at the church.
5. Priests aren't allowed to drive mini vans, or, for whatever reason, ice cream trucks.
6. Alter boy self defense classes must be offered at every Catholic church.
That'd be a good start. Of course not all priests are part of the cult of heavy petting, and they should be commended. It's just tough not to generalize these days with the lack of institutional control being shown by the ol' Pope and his crew. I'm sure there's some second guessing going on at each church, at least a little.
A few laws I think that we could put in place to curb the Catholic Priests appetite for children:
1. Priests aren't allowed to watch the Disney Channel.
2. Priests aren't allowed to hold Harry Potter costume parties for any reason.
3. Priests aren't allowed within 500 feet of Chuck 'E Cheeses.
4. Priests aren't allowed to have juice boxes in their personal fridges at the church.
5. Priests aren't allowed to drive mini vans, or, for whatever reason, ice cream trucks.
6. Alter boy self defense classes must be offered at every Catholic church.
That'd be a good start. Of course not all priests are part of the cult of heavy petting, and they should be commended. It's just tough not to generalize these days with the lack of institutional control being shown by the ol' Pope and his crew. I'm sure there's some second guessing going on at each church, at least a little.
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