Hi Supercuts? Yeah, my hair hates you.

Thank you Supercuts. The recent haircut I was blessed with at one of your many chains was inspiring. It's inspired me to learn to cut hair so my head never has to endure the butchering it received, yesterday. It can't be too hard to learn, can it? I mean, I'm sure I can learn most of what I'll need to know from youtube videos, and the rest I'll pick up on that new show Shear Genius, or whatever it's called. Then I'll be ready to jack up my own head. Why should I pay $25 every 3 weeks, when I can run jagged lines around my own neck? Or weedwack around my ears? Yeah, I think I'll give it a go.

Supercuts, do you employ every former kid that couldn't color in between the lines? The kid that couldn't understand a 1/2 inch from 3? The kid that put paste in other kids hair? Do you stand outside of legitimate beauty colleges and swoop in on the flunkies? It'd be hard for you to convince me otherwise.

I bet you post ads on craiglist that read something like:
"Seeking human being with hands. Must have the ability to ignore customer requests. A lack of attention to detail is a plus.

If interested please walk to nearest Supercuts and pick up scissors."

Here's a little advice: If you've ever wanted to shave your head, but are slightly hesitant and need a push over the edge, google Supercuts, locate your nearest store, walk in and say, "Just take a little off the tops and around the ears". 20 minutes later you'll look like Lloyd Christmas and have no choice but to treat yourself to a buzz cut that Jarheads would be envious of. Yep, solid operation that Supercuts.